Coaches Corner

As 7:00 PM rolls around again, like it does every day, the sense of apprehension and nervousness starts to seep into my blood stream. I pace around the room checking and re checking on the players to make sure I have made the right decisions as to who plays and who sits.

All they have to do every night is go out there and play the game they love, but for me it’s different. I have to make the hard decisions, the decisions nobody wants to make. Yeah, Datsyuk has been on a tear lately racking up the points game in and game out, putting him on the ice is a no brainer. But what about Eberle? Or Iginla? One is a fresh new face to the league putting up consistent points, while the other is a proven all-star, going season after season with great numbers. There is so much to consider!

Get way into the game.

Calm down coach, don’t freak out, and just think about it from a few different angles. First look at the updates available for each player; it is important to remember there are people out there working for me, making sure all the need to know information is at my disposal. God, this is so much easier for my defence, I only have 4 of them! Why on Earth did I draft so many Right Wingers?

That is it; I need to get out of this room I can’t focus. If I am going to have any chance of winning this week I need to pick the perfect combination of players. A walk will help clear my mind, my neck hurts from craning over top of this laptop anyway. Tim Horton’s isn’t far I will just grab a coffee and donut to air out my thoughts.

Jesus! It is cold out here; I can hear a group of guys playing shinny in the rink at the park near my house. Too cold for me now a days, my nose and ears would freeze off in these temperatures, best to pick up the pace and get that coffee and donut already.

“Hey there, could I have a large Double Double and a Honey Crueller, please? Thanks”.

Clash of the Titans.

Mhhhmmmm, Canadian sustenance; this stuff is my life blood, always there when I need you most. What would I do without you Tim Horton’s? Probably go to McCafé instead realistically; I can barely taste a difference at this point. Heck, Tim Horton’s even increased the size of their cups to match American sizing, very Canadian of them. Next thing I know Tim Horton’s will start serving hamburgers.

Oh no why did I do that, now all I want is a Big Mac! I always seem to want terrible food when I get nervous. Oh well. Lucky for me the two are beside each other.

“Yeah, hi could I have a Big Mac combo, please? Um? I’ll have Iced Tea to drink, please. Thank you”.

I guess I wouldn’t mind Tim Horton’s becoming a little more like McDonald’s. At least Don’s has flat screen TVs. Speaking of which, I wonder if Sports Centre is on? There it is; they are showing a report on Taylor Hall’s injury, perfect!

He is playing tonight! What time is it? Where is my phone? Damn I really need to buy a watch this is ridiculous! Ah, here it is. 6:55 PM; I won’t get home in time to change my lines! I need Hall on the ice tonight; he is bound to get more points than Steen. I will never get home in time to switch them, there goes my win this week, damn it!

Wait! I can change the lines from the cell phone! Thank God there are Smart Phones in the world. I’ll just sign on to the website here and make changes before the league locks in my picks. Come on, come on, work you piece of shit!

Here we go, alright switch Taylor Hall with Alex Steen. Done, just need to confirm the switch and… “DON’T STOP BELIEVING, HOLD ON TO THAT FEELING”!

Oh my God, who could be calling me now? “Hello? Oh hi honey, um I am kind of in the middle of something I can’t talk. What? No of course it isn’t my Fantasy hockey pool! It’s, um. I have my parents on the other line, yeah. What do you mean I said they are in Cuba this week? Oh yeah! Ha ha I mean I am on the other line with my friend…. Parentau. Oh damn it I didn’t play Parentau this week”!


“Hello? Baby? Are you there?”

Damn it. Guess my love life is on the IR.

Your love life and your hockey team, both Fantasy.

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One Response to Coaches Corner

  1. cmillar2 says:

    Erin Thibodeau says: Dibs!!

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