There were II…. and then there was ONE…

Temperature 42 deg Celsius, it was a hot Sunday afternoon, the usual for people living in India, in June. The Sun was beaming high and the air-conditioner was set to a ‘high’, thank god for technology and thank god for air-conditioners. There they were resting ..
The moment I entered my new ‘home’, I knew that was ‘it’. Slowly and slowly I came to the conclusion that it had really happened.

Knock- Knock, Can you hear me? Can you hear me?

I guess you cant, and all I can do it wait … Wait for the final moment. So as the waiting game begins, I try to adjust my self in- slowly and slowly…and before even I could sense it, I was already getting bigger..

Wow I am actually getting bigger. Hope there is enough room in here for me to fit for the next little while. I wondered.

So can she hear me? Does she know I am here? Does she care? Ah..I guess we will soon find out..

It was an early morning and she woke up pretty early. Well earlier than usual, I wonder what’s wrong? I could sense a panic, a rush flowing through..*Yuck* too much liquid around me, Suddenly I heard –

It happened.. It happened.. Thank god for this machine – she said.

And I was jumping in joy. Dancing in the area which was reserved for me.. JUST FOR ME.

Few days went by, everything was going smoothly. I was happy; I assumed she was happy as well. My world was full of joy. A world where I could imagine, create and do things I wanted to do because there was no one watching over me.. Well if you consider “tube” like things, as watchdogs then may be someone was watching over me.

Days went by I often heard her talk about me. Sometimes full of excitement and sometimes with a sense of fear and agitation. I wondered what that fear was about.. Was it about me? Was it something else? I wish I could ask her.

* Sigh*

Tossing and turning, tossing and turning. Ah I guess today won’t be a good night after all, I told myself. Why can’t it be a little more comfortable here? I wish I could re-structure this place I giggled.

It was time to get up. The usual morning stuff you know. I was a little hungry; I didn’t get much to eat last night. Wonder what’s for breakfast? As I was preparing myself to get ready for breakfast, there was a push. * Ouch! * I heard. That was a strong push almost like someone pushed me to the wall. That must really hurt I told myself. Who knew what was coming next.

I heard her crying; her sobbing and I became aware that someone was beating her up. I felt helpless- really helpless.

But why? I wanted an answer to this. I thought everything was going smoothly and everyone seemed happy.

“You better not keep that, or else we will throw you out of the house “ I heard a voice.

There were more tears and more sobbing.

Next morning, after having another unpleasant night, I was again up early. I was feeling sick from not having enough food or water. I felt weak and then I heard her say-

I will have to let go of this one, for the sake of my family’s happiness, and for the reason that I can live longer and hope to get a boy next time.

Knock- Knock, Can you hear me? Please don’t do this; please don’t do this to me. I cried I begged, I did everything I could but my words couldn’t reach her. It seemed like only I could hear her all the time but she never could hear my voice.

* Ouch* I shouted and before I knew it there was blood everywhere.. She let go of ME.

If only I could tell you mom that I wanted to live. Wanted to see what you looked like, wanted to play with you, and wanted to hold your hand.

Why did you do this to me mother?

Just before that happened I wondered, why in many parts of the world, people grow up like crocodiles that devour their young? Why do they make us, only to leave us?

I told myself- I guess being a girl isn’t a good thing. But that wasn’t my decision; I had no control over that. I wish I could explain this to all of you.