Oops, there goes gravity

Time to settle in, focus, and get shit done.

Pavarotti and the Ave Maria – A Match Made in Heaven to be featured on Upcoming Tour

A title for the article, a good first step.

The Ave Maria is one of few musical compositions that can transcend time and space. It can connect audiences regardless of language, profession, religion.

Does it also solve hunger, prevent AIDS, and bring world peace? Start again.

Last night I had the privilege honour of attending a private gathering of opera enthusiasts in which the great, Luciano Pavarotti, performed a master collection. Delighting ears listened as…

Complete crap. It reads all too Keanu, you know, tries real hard but will never get that Oscar. Hey, that’s funny… I should use that sometime. Maybe about some bad art installation or pathetic attempt at modernism.

(Insert name here) undertakes modernism in the same way Keanu Reeves attempts acting: better luck next time. The contrasting themes of –

Shut up, stay on task. We’re dealing with Pavarotti and the Ave Maria here.

Delighting ears listened as…

Who has delighting ears? Start again.

Pavarotti transforms an already beautiful work of art into something extraordinary. The man does more than sing; he uses the power of music to create an event like no other. Never have I sat so still and been so moved… by a man, that is.


The tenor gives his all in each performance and dear readers, this night was no different. You have read many of my reviews and I have always felt at ease describing the experience but this is not the same. Pavarotti is an empire. The man has shaped and transformed the industry while taking it to new heights.

Still sucks. Anyone reading my column already knows Pavarotti is amazing, or at least they should. I need to try something else.

If you could ask one person to perform one song for you, what would it be? I can gladly admit I would die happy to hear Pavarotti sing the Ave Maria just one more time.

I’m a man that loves him some Pavarotti but I’m going to kill myself if I have to write one more line of this crap. I need a change. A change in this review first, a change in my life second. I’ll get through this last article and be gone but for now this is my livelihood. Start again.

The Ave Maria –

I’m trying…

The Ave Maria, Schubert’s career pièce de résistance…

I can’t do it. I’m sick of it. I’m sick of writing these bullshit reviews in 750 words. Ten hours to convince thousands to seek culture? To invite the new and different into their cardboard crafted worlds? Start again.

Pavarotti can make the Ave Maria feel like –

FEEL. Why can’t I say how I feel? Do I even know? I can’t make these people feel the Ave Maria as performed by Pavarotti but that’s their problem. I can review a performance, play, or text until my fingers bleed but these idiots will never understand.

Pavarotti can make her feel like…

Her? The Ave Maria. Maybe if I can get my feelings out, describe how she makes me feel, I can suffer through one last column…

She’s powerful. A force not to be toyed with.

I like that…writing that made me feel free. It’s true too, no more bullshit. The Ave Maria should not be attempted by those unable to sing her praise. Keep going.

Last night, she took me. I wasn’t ready but she waits for no one. I don’t know where I went, all I know is I want to go back. It was a place for her and I.

The deadline is looming but, could this work? Keep going.

She is strong yet somehow she makes me weak. I listen to her words and I want to help her but she needs nothing. Her partner in crime moves me to tears with a power I cannot explain. How can he do this to her? To me?

Are they getting it? Maybe this is too “out there” for my readers but I like where it’s going…

I want her for myself but I know I can’t do her justice. She needs someone like him. He gives her life, a soul, a body.

They don’t want to hear this. They want creativity in their culture yet they want nothing from me. I am the messenger. Maybe that will work…

No matter the messenger, the Ave Maria has a life of her own…

I hate them. I hate them for taking the art out of my work. As much as it kills me, a man has to give the readers what they expect even if it bores the hell out of me. It’s time to settle in, focus, and get shit done.

The Ave Maria is one of few musical compositions that can transcend time and space.

…back to reality.

Pavarotti is able to bring life to an otherwise two-dimensional work. He delivers the piece as though it were a dish of diamonds dripping with opulence.

You know what? Fuck ‘em.

Last night, she took me.

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